Up

I'll write some other time about marathons and how wanting to quit, call it perseverance or idiocy, is the opposite of quitting. It applies to the whole of my life. More interesting to me now is the movie "Up." Our whole family loves it. We have to skip over the parts that make it a PG; Kelsie insists and we comply. They're scary to us too, but we find the core of the movie's message so perfect for us now. "It's the boring parts of life I like the best." says Russell to Carl, or something like that. Amen. Maybe that's the whole point of adventure: to get us in the right frame of mind to appreciate boring evenings together as a family. They are the best. They are life. These days I dream of reading more, running more, and, yes, disappearing into the beautiful, wasteful smallness of serving God wherever and however He calls, but most of all, boring times together with people I love who actually want me to love them. (The definition of love is not that someone loves me, but that someone lets me love them.) This is what Jesus did when he went away to "lonely places" all the time. He left the shallow, lifeless excitement of miraculous Messianic ministry for "boring" times alone with Dad. Jesus is so wise.

Up, indeed.

Humility

John Stott is right. Pride is my worst enemy and humility is my best friend. C.J. Mahaney's little book on humility has been helping me get to know my best friend. It's clear to me that pride is my worst enemy. I know this. I recently described myself in a sermon as having a "massive ego." It's true. So I recommend this book not as someone who should be seen as humble or humbler because he's a pastor who's recommending a book on humility. I struggle horribly with pride. I have an unabridged audio version of Mahaney's book too. So I'm reading and listening to it ... over and over. Pound it in Lord and deliver me to Your cross. One huge point that I've gleaned from this book so far: not even three years of one on one time with Jesus helped the disciples become humble. They competed for position in Mark 10:35-45, proving that not even the best preaching and teaching in the universe (Christ's) ever helps people get humble! Jesus had to die to change these men. It's Jesus' death on the cross that runs off my worst enemy and helps me run to my best friend. His death is my only hope. There is no problem in my life that doesn't melt into proper perspective in the life-giving light and warmth of the humility it generates. The cross proves once again to be home to my every need. Lord, I need You to change me on the inside. Lord, I need You to show me Your cross afresh today. Oppose all that is prideful within me and give grace to the humility You alone, by means of Your death on the cross alone, grant by grace alone.

Does this sound too pious? That's probably because, in my pride, I can't even speak cleanly about humility. I'm constantly looking for what sounds good and what makes me look good. I think I need to get back to reading my book on humility now. :)

Dances With Calendars

It's just a number, just a date, just a change of names, but, regardless, it is a new year. Sometimes it seems pointless to make a fuss about the new year, but this year I feel pulled in a new direction. Why not? What's the harm of resetting and examining my life and its impact? There's none at all, as far as I can tell. This year there's also the challenge of looking at the next ten years, as we begin a new decade. What do I think God wants from me and for me for the next ten years? Is this it? I've been wondering about my whole life recently. Again, this is a good thing. Here's some guidelines for "kicking the tires" on one's life:

1) Pray brief, intense, and frequent prayers (per Martin Luther) without lingering too long on typical prayer fare surrounding personal reflection.

2) Do all the old school goal setting stuff, no matter how cliche it may seem. For example, imagine what's possible if you had no limits. If you could do anything, what would you do? It may feel clunky at first, but dreaming like this is a faith essential. God has little interest in incremental improvements or maintaining status quo. Living by faith isn't for the faint of heart or slackers who love mediocrity. Grandiose dreaming is one of the most effective ways I know of to jump start a lackluster faith or life. Reality, with the Holy Spirit's help, will edit anything that smacks of ego or pride.

3) Forget the past. (Yes, it's that simple, though not that easy. Ask God to help.)

4) Survey your present. Where are you exactly? You can't make any progress until you know. My GPS doesn't work until it tells me where I am. It's the same with our lives.

5) Read, watch, and/or study the biographies of people you admire, people who've done what you feel called by God to do. What did they do that is different from what you are doing? What did they believe that is different from what you are believing?

6) Let someone know your goals or what's changed inside of you that may now change your life's direction. It can be me if you want, just comment here or e-mail me at jtorres@goodwillchurch.org.

7) Always remember those you love and what you want in your life with and for them. This is the hardest one for me because my vocation, as I'm presently navigating through it, tends to leave my family behind. For me, this can't continue. What are the things in your life that can't continue?

May God richly bless you and your family in 2010!